“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.”
Love never fails? Sure it does. Sorry to ruin your ideal Disney fairy tale happy ending but, love, as true as it may have once been, can start to fade away at times. Love that is neglected can take on other forms such as hate and anger. When that happens, it will eventually take a turn for the worse.
Ever find yourself questioning your own relationship and whether you’re doing the right thing by staying in your relationship? When you reach a stage where you question your own love, it’s time to take a step back and reevaluate. Are you falling out of love?
1. You’re not excited anymore.
In the beginning, the feeling of being in love and being in a new relationship is intense. Your day is made when you hear from him, your eyes light up with happiness when you see him, and even your friends around you notice that extra bounce in your step. But now, you feel restless and bored when you spend time with him. Or you would find excuses to work late, or stay out more often with your own friends. In fact, being with your friends is the highlight of your day.
2. No together time.
Communication and togetherness is the glue that holds a relationship together. As love starts to fade away, you start to spend less and less time with him. Which might transcend into spending weekends and holidays without each other. And before you know it, you can’t even be bothered to take the initiative to spend time with each other. Why? Because you’d much rather hang out with your friends or do things alone (e.g. shopping, watching a movie, catching a play).
3. He irritates you.
Yes, we know, he could be innocently watching television or preparing dinner, or just having a conversation on the phone with his boss or colleague or even his mom. Still, you’re annoyed. Truth is, it doesn’t matter what he does but you’d get the urge to frown, make a face, or roll your eyes. As a matter of fact, the very sight of him irritates you.
4. You argue a lot.
This may be the only form of communication that you allow yourself to have with him. Usually, arguments are signs of misunderstandings and not the loss of love – as long as the arguments are constructive. Not when the basis of the argument is due to things only you are unhappy with or you are subconsciously nitpicking at him for. Needless to say, these arguments will not help better the relationship but to send it further down the point of no return.
5. No sex, no PDA.
In a new relationship, the physical touch is everything. It’s what makes the relationship; it’s what creates a bond. Some couples get it on like bunnies at the start of a relationship. As time passes, the enthusiasm fades. It’s fine when it just means that the relationship has matured. But when you start refusing sex for no apparent reason or even simple PDA, then it’s time to listen closely to those warning bells.
6. You don’t respect him.
You don’t think twice about yelling at him, whether it’s behind closed doors or over the phone or worse, in public. You have no qualms scorning them for a small mistake. Clearly, this means that you have no respect for him whatsoever. If you start thinking that he’s a loser, or that he’s worthless, or not worth your time, then you’re not in love with him. Worse if you start thinking that you deserve better.
All is not lost though – you can stop a relationship from failing but of course, it requires a lot of work and effort. Do you feel like love is slipping out of your relationship slowly and you can’t do a thing to stop it? When you reach a stage where you start questioning your love or your relationship, you need a lot of work and effort to bring it back.
However, if you’ve identified that you’re not in love anymore, then do the right thing – make up your mind and move on.