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Okay, let’s be real. We all experienced double standard  before and we’re even judgmental about certain things unknowingly. These things may seem like pretty simple things that happen in your life, but when it does happen, it still makes a certain impact to a particular group or community. Men and women tend to experience double standards differently thus it can be hard to notice when it occurs. But either way, double standards hurt our pride and it restricts us from doing what we can actually do.

But, as a woman (or should I say ‘as a young woman’), I do feel like there are certain things that women are being treated differently than the men.

Let’s talk about sex. I mean, let’s talk about sexuality.

The sexual double standard is the most common example I’ve ever encountered, and it was the worst kind ever. Have you ever heard of men asking you to stop using foul language because he said that it’s disgusting and non-classy? I do. In fact, he said that women shouldn’t use foul language at ALL if they want to impress men. Uhmm…okay? That offended me, a lot.

 

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Even the powerhouse vocal singer Adele admits that she loves to swear.

I rarely swear. Okay I lied. However, I don’t think swearing was a big problem to me because I always think that swearing is just a form of emotional expression and study even shows that swearing can physically reduce pain. Everyone around me swears, even the top students in my high school swears. For some reasons, we swear to ourselves but never swear it in front of other people’s face so as not to offend anyone. But when someone tells a woman to stop using the foul language at all, I just find it absolutely absurd and unreasonable.

What gives men the right to use foul language and not women? But then again, swearing just falls under bad manners anyway, regardless of gender. Men are in no position to ask women to stop swearing when they can’t stop it as well.

Speaking of foul language, can you relate women to cursing? I was struck by a realization the other day that the majority of foul words involves women and women’s privates but rarely about men. I mean, think about it. You can’t even count how many of them were about women but you can definitely count the foul language involving men. Are people going to invent new foul language so that it’s more about men instead of women? I don’t think it’s appropriate either but oh, the dilemma!

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Apart from swearing, another sexual double standard issue I’ve encountered was how women were being viewed as. Women who’ve had sex with more than 2 guys are perceived as ‘whores’ but when it comes to men, they glorify their sex history and people seem to admire him instead of trashing him like they would a girl. See the difference? Women who have sex are being trashed but men who do are being glorified as men with great sexual experience. By putting the gender aside, aren’t they the same? They both had sex anyway! So why categorize them into two different groups?

Sometimes I think people are so obsessed with organizing, but in the wrong way. If you’re a neat person, I’m totally fine with that because I love to organize my things in a proper way too. But when it comes to dating, give us a break already! When a younger male dates or hooks up with older women, they call her a cougar. When it’s a younger woman dating an older man, they call her a gold-digger. Seriously, why can’t people just call them a couple with normal boyfriend-girlfriend relationship? I know it’s easier for people to recognize the relationship through the label but who’s to say it’s not genuine feelings with no ulterior motives?

Besides that, most people will tell women to get married before 35 but for men, they can get married at any age. But for some, marriage is not a priority in their life and their goal is to accomplish what they wants and get as much freedom as they can before settling down for a family. It might take a few years to do so and marriage has became a very personal choice for them. But when women were told to get married before 35, it just makes me feel like every thing is limited including our freedom.

I’ll need to clarify that all of these are based on my own opinions and perhaps based on women’s experience. I do realize that men receive unfair treatment about double standard but I am entitled to my own opinion here about women’s double standard issues.

What are some of the double standard issues you’ve ever encountered? Share with us!

opinion

Adrina Hoi
Born and raised in the suburbs of KL, I grew up in yesteryear's pop culture under the influence of my family especially my parents. Horror, sci-fi and fantasy are my favourite genres in drama & films but once in a while, I enjoy watching chick flicks. Basically, I am a movie buff.