“Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”.
Is it possible to be friends with an ex? I personally believe that it is possible to be friends with an ex, it just has to be done in the right way. Not all romantic relationships were made to last forever and just because it does not work out, does not mean you have to lose that person completely. Sometimes, there is no bad blood but more of you and your partner just simply realising that you are not compatible anymore.
Once your relationship has ran its course, it is in the best interest of both parties to spend some time apart from each other before trying to be friends. This space and time apart is essential because it will help clear the air of any tension that has been left behind as a result of the split. After you’ve both taken enough time off, you and your ex should have a talk to discuss whatever grudges you may have so that you both can start gaining closure. If you are ever going to be able to have a functioning friendship, you need to let go of whatever unresolved issues there may be. As most people may know, the early stage of a breakup is meant for personal healing and recovery and this is not something can be forced or rushed.
The tricky thing about trying to be friends with an ex is the extent of how much contact should take place between you two. It is hard to break the pattern of talking throughout the day but this is vital when it comes to moving on. You also need to allow the friendship to grow on its own. The relationship between you both is now completely different so its only understandable that the manner in which you communicate will be as well. Neither of you are going to want to hear about each other’s dating life right away so you need to avoid things that would bring jealousy in play.
It is vital that you remember all of the good memories you both shared together as it will help make being friends easier. By paying attention to the good times, you allow for a positive, constructive environment.
When trying to become friends, it is very important to not sleep with each other! Sure, it is comforting and familiar but that will only bring up past feelings and just it harder on the both of you. It can also cloud your judgement and give you a false sense of hope for getting back together as a couple. If either one of you starts to develop more than platonic feelings for the other at any point in time, then you need to take a step back and reevaluate what is going on.
Some people do eventually get back together but this is not advisable when you are just trying to develop a friendship. Clearly defined boundaries are very important when it comes to maintaining a genuine friendship with an ex. You always have to bear in mind that your relationship did not work out for a reason.
Honestly, you do not always have to burn the bridge with your ex. Cutting your ex out of your life is even harder when you share the same group of friends so remaining civil with your ex lover is beneficial in the sense that there is no awkwardness. Yes, it is more difficult to remain friends if your ex cheated on you but eventually if you can put it behind you, then there is no harm in it.
The idea of remaining friends with an ex sounds like an ideal situation to most, but getting there is filled with a lot of obstacles that you are going to have to get through. You need to work actively on it so that both of you feel comfortable with the new direction that the relationship is heading in. You have to be prepared for what you might face and how the two of you are going to deal with it.
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