Bridesmaid Etiquette 101: The Dos & Don’ts Of Being A Bridesmaid
So as it turns out, your best friend found the man of her dreams, got engaged to him and now she’s FINALLY marrying the man.
She’s asked you to be a part of the bridal party and everything seems oh-so very exciting but you’re also left wondering just what the hell your duties are. And even if you do, you’re probably feeling overwhelmed by them. If you’re searching for tips on how to go above and beyond for your BFF, here’s a list of do’s and don’ts of being her bridesmaid:
1. Don’t accept the role if you’re not fully invested
Over the next several months, your best friend’s main concern will be her wedding. So when she asks you to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, don’t immediately reply yes without considering what you’re getting yourself into. Agreeing literally means being there for the bride from now until the wedding day. Your cat ran away? Too bad. The guy you’ve been trying to get with ghosts you? Tough luck. All of that will be secondary to the crisis with the florists that she’s handling.
2. Be prepared to fork out tons of cash
Wedding aside, there’s the bridal shower, gift for the bridal shower, bachelorette party and whatever last minute adventures you, the bride and other bridesmaids decide upon. Signing up as a bridesmaid means literally signing over your bank account to the bride for the next few months. If it’s a destination wedding, you’re pretty much screwed if you’re not prepared. If you can’t afford the lavish spending, don’t insist that you can,just come clean. She’ll understand.
3. Don’t complain about how much you’re spending to the bride
Seriously, we’re all broke at this point. Have some decorum and suck it up, especially since you’ve agreed to be a part of the bridal party. You win some, you lose some. Also, you wouldn’t want her to be complaining about your wedding expenses when it’s your turn now, would you?
4. Work on your people skills
You’ll be hanging out with some of her friends which you’ve never seen before the bridal party planning and probably a couple of girls that you don’t get along swimmingly with. Which is why it’s important that you work on your social skills, especially if you’re not a people person. You don’t have to be nauseatingly sweet, just be courteous and at least know when to fake a laugh.
5. Don’t ghost the bride
When the bride texts you to see if you’re available for dress fittings two weeks from her text, don’t ignore her texts. When she calls, answer your damn phone. Most importantly, don’t make a date a day before the wedding and then wake up in said date’s apartment hours before the wedding. You’ll risk missing out on hair and manicure appointments and even last minute wedding emergency calls. Don’t be the b*tch who goes MIA on the bride. Be the b*tch who shows up for action.
6. Do provide emotional support
When she calls you blubbering on about how the printer screwed up the invites or directions to the wedding or her colourists messing up her #bridehairgoals, listen to her and provide emotional support and a viable solution. Don’t roll your eyes and tell her to stop crying because you’re busy and it’s not important enough for you. Yes, it may seem like everything is about her for months now but that’s because it’s the one time in a woman’s life when everything IS about her. So suck it up, and let her have her damn moment.
7. Don’t cause problems
If you hate the dress, don’t freak out and throw a tantrum. Politely ask her if there are any other options. Worst comes to worst, you’ll just have to wear a dress you dislike. Just smile and wave. If you get into a disagreement with one of the other bridesmaids, do nothing. Don’t try to get people on your side and don’t talk about her behind her back to the bride. You’ll only cause unnecessary stress for everyone.
8. Do throw an amazing party
If you’re hosting the bridal shower or bachelorette, make sure it’s a memorable and fabulous event! Take the time to gather the girls and plan out an awesome party and do something that you know the bride will love. Be it brunch, a night out in town or a weekend away, just be sure that it’s something the bride will truly enjoy and remember for the years to come.
9. Don’t complain about the bride to the other bridesmaids
Whether she’s gone from 0 to 100 real quick with the bridezilla mode, call a family member or a friend who isn’t related to the bride if you REALLY need to vent. If you and the other bridesmaids start teaming up and complaining about her behind her back, trust that she’ll find out soon enough. Also, who needs the extra drama?
10. Remember to step in when needed and have a great time
There will be many instances where last minute tasks for the wedding would be handed over to you. Take these tasks with pride and carry them out gracefully. And remember to have a great time because she’s FINALLY married and you didn’t work this hard for nothing.
Until then, enjoy the calm before the storm.