Nothing is worse than setting off the parent bomb without thinking things through beforehand. Depending on your personality and how you break the news, the response will vary from it being a happy and proud moment, to giving their consent half-heartedly, to your parents actually threatening to love you lesser if your leave. So how can you move out without making them upset?
1. Have a reality check with yourself
Be sure that you are able to move out and that this is what you really want to do. Don’t let yourself succumb to peer pressure and think about how long you want to commit to wherever you’re staying. It’ll only make things worse if you end up having to come back at a later date because you weren’t able to make it.
Also, is your job a permanent one or are you still expecting money from your parents? Have you been contributing around the house such as paying for Astro and Unifi bills, giving pocket money to your parents, and treating your family to a fancy dinner once in a while?
If its hard for you to do these pretty basic family things, then you probably should start now. Show your parents how much you appreciate them by reducing some of their burden, as it would make them feel a little relieved that they’ve raised you right and confident that you can take care of your own self.
2. Breaking the news to Asian parents
If you have overprotective parents, you’ll know that whatever you’re about to say will always be responded with “No,” even before you have the time to explain anything. Don’t be mad though. In this crucial moment in time, please note that your parents would probably be in total shock, so just remind yourself to always stay calm and give them time to digest the news.
Let them know you’re not moving because of them. Tell your parents what the plan is, why you really need to move out, such as the distance from your workplace to your potential new home would be so much nearer. Assure them that you’re aware of the risks, but you’re prepared and willing to see where the decision will lead you.
Prepare a list of backup answers too just in case! Remember, you need to help them understand, not create a dispute with the people who raised you.
3. Settle details before moving
Whether you’re planning to move close to home or far away, your parents will still want to know all about it. Let them know about your potential new house and how convenient it is to your workplace. You can opt to invite them over if you’d like, as it could increase the chance in convincing them.
Also, if you’re moving in with a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend, be sure that they are trustworthy and someone you be around and can function with most of the day. The point of moving out and being on your own is to improve your quality of life and to experience new things. You don’t want to move from one negative situation into another.
Start resolving the bills even before you start moving in to your new place. Clarify with your new roommies over what needs to be paid and how much. Make sure everyone has to pay a fair amount, and nobody gets to leech off anyone.
4. Keeping track of your expenses
Be certain that your finances are in order, as moving can be very expensive. Make sure you have a steady source of money, because it’s going to be hard supporting yourself on a non-fixed income. Know that most places will require you to pay two months deposit plus one month rent (2 + 1) upon moving in, so there’s that.. and utilities.
The most crucial thing you need to assess is your daily expenses. Think about the lifestyle you’re about to have, such as your monthly budget and can you control your excessive shopping syndrome? It may sound trivial, but it’s also important to consider things like diet, hygiene and personal wellness.
Start saving early, and make it a habit. It will be easier to convince your parents if they’re 100% sure that you are capable of handling yourself, especially in the finance department.
5. Give yourself a few months
Moving can be rough no matter how old you are, but if you plan everything wisely, it won’t be as hard as you think. Give yourself some time to settle in, as things like homemade dinner and a full refrigerator, will be quite different from how it used to be when you were still living with your parents.
Despite your moving out screams “independence” and you trying your best to not burden your parents anymore, it’s also okay to seek help from them if you’re absolutely desperate for basic things you need in order to stay alive like money for food and petrol to commute to work. They’ll understand, as they were once young and broke too.
As much as you want to move out and no matter how it goes down, remember to look at it from your parents’ point of view. If you’re the first child to move out, or the only one, it’s no doubt going to be harder for you to break the news to them. Whatever happens, remember to always be honest with your parents.