Anyone’s who has even been through a breakup has probably experienced the symptoms – talking about it over and over AND over again, obsessively checking up on an ex’s social media posts (after blocking and unblocking them about a million times), and of course, trying to run into them accidentally but not really.
Through breakup woes and heartbreak, in comes an app called Mend that aims to be a personal trainer for heartbreak and help you avoid those cringe-worthy mistakes in moving on with your life.
Mend is the brainchild of former Google employee, Ellen Huerta, who founded the app after going through a breakup herself. Huerta isn’t just the founder, she is also Elle, the calming voice of a friend within the app that helps you through your breakup.
Huerta told The New York Times that she hopes to “erase the shame and taboo of heartbreak as something to just get over.” Mend doesn’t want to be just a breakup app – it wants to be a community for the heartbroken. Everything on the app is gender-neutral and it also doesn’t assume that your relationship was heterosexual.
To get set up, all you need to do is enter your first name. You can also go ahead and make a Mend account, but it’s possible to skip that and get straight to business. Another important feature to note is the “Is this an emergency?” button that takes you to a page that explains how Mend is not a sub for mental health pros. If you’re going through a more serious than just the usual run-of-the-mill sadness, Mend advises you to seek professional help.
In the next step, you have to let Mend in on some information about your breakup, like why the relationship ended, when the relationship ended, and when you last reached out to your ex.
The app also asks you to take a second to think about how you’re really feeling. You can rate how much the breakup is affecting your day-to-day life and how you feel on a daily basis.
Next, you’ll be taken to your “training” page, which also includes your first message from Elle, who reassures you that the both of you are “going to get through this breakup together.” After your first training session, you’ll be asked to write in a journal entry, which doesn’t revolve around the same thing every time.
Elle also explains that being in a relationship gives off “happy hormones” that you send back and forth with your partner. And when you breakup, you start going through withdrawals from those hormones and want them back. But Elle hustles through and assures you that she’ll “help you let go and more forward.”
After your first training session ends, you’re able to check your progress report where you can log everything you did to focus on yourself like exercising, being social, and even getting intimate with someone else. When you list an activity, you’ll have the option to write a note about it and rate how it made you feel after.
Swiping left on the main dashboard will take you to “My Mend,” which personally charts how you’ve been feeling over time, shows you how long it’s been since your breakup, and gives you encouraging and supportive advice everyday.
Swiping right takes you to the Mend community where, you’ll be able to read posts about relationships, tips for moving on, as well as Q&As of people who have recently gone through breakups.
Mend is free to download and use, but of course, if you want the full experience, Mend does have a pro (paid) version. By subscribing to the app, you’ll be able to unlock Mend’s full training program, which has more recordings from Elle as well as personalized advice on how to deal with your breakup.
Mend is available for free on the App Store.