In your romantic relationships, is there give and take? Or do you hand out all you have or suck the life out of your partner?

Apparently, people fall into one of three categories: givers, takers, and matchers — Givers are motivated to take care of others, takers‘ primary motivation is self-interest, and matchers typically give to others with the expectation of getting something back.

Psychologist Adam Grant categorises givers as the most romantically successful and attractive of the three types, as these people are kind, selfless, loving, and supportive in relationships. “The trait people most highly value in potential romantic partners (both men and women) is kindness,” he explains. “Givers also tend to be affectionate, a trait that strongly affects the longevity of a relationship.”

Of course, being a giver also has its drawbacks. Givers’ strongest motivation is to take care of others and to contribute to their lives in positive ways. Thus, this type of selflessness can result in givers taking the blame for things or even thinking they’re unlovable or not good enough since they tend to take responsibility for the relationship.

Wanna know what your trait is? Take this test to find out!