We don’t know about you, but binge-watching the famed Japanese organising consultant Marie Kondo’s new Netflix series Tidying Up With Marie Kondo hasn’t just gotten us to declutter our life of things that don’t spark joy for us. It has also made us more mindful about other aspects of our life such as our friendships.
Between being a people-pleaser and the constant pressure of maintaining a somewhat normal social life, it’s not surprising that most of us hold up friendships that are more draining than anything else for one reason or another. Not all friendships are monogamous and there’s no point hoarding them.
So, how can you KonMari your friendships? Firstly, evaluate the relationships you have in your life and be honest with yourself. Does this friend bring you any sort of negativity? Is there a balance in the relationship or are you giving more than you are receiving? Ultimately, does this friendship bring you joy?
Then, be grateful and thank these people for bringing you good memories in the past before deciding to make some cuts. Think about what you are trying to achieve out of your friendships. Are you looking for a confidante? A shoulder to cry on when times get tough? Does this person bring out the best in you?
An example of a negative friendship you should be cutting out of your life could be one of an emotionally draining nature. It could be mentally and emotionally taxing – someone who triggers the nasty, judgemental sides of you. If such behaviour does not align with who you want to be and doesn’t meet your goals, it’s time to say bye.
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Breaking up with a friend is easier said than done, but if this person did mean anything at all, you owe it to them to end the friendship in a graceful way. This can be done by hanging out with them lesser as time goes by, or letting them know that you have multiple priorities to be taken care of, hence your absence.
The goal here isn’t to get rid of any friends who have hurt you in the past, but to think about the roles these people play in your life. It’s an important awareness to have and wouldn’t be achieved overnight, but organising your friendships certainly will be worth the effort. Good luck!